Hi friends. I know the majority of people aren’t too interested in hearing about someone else’s pregnancy/birth experience but I also know that I always was one of the few who cared, so I’m writing this for two reasons: one, so I don’t forget about it because I know that’s a thing that tends to happen (hormones!), and two- for those of you who are interested in hearing about my experience.
I was fortunate to have a pretty uneventful pregnancy.. until the last 2 months. The first 8 months were not what I would call “easy”, but I don’t think that any woman would consider her pregnancy super easy (or if you did then that’s incredible:)). I had night sickness with vomiting semi often the first few months and nausea throughout the days, but I was able to remain pretty active which helped my mental state the first 8 months.
The morning after my baby shower (mid sept), I woke up with my right rib in severe pain, my neck was stiff and my back hurt very badly. I couldn’t get up off the floor most of the day and especially without help.. scary feeling. I went to a local chiropractor and he adjusted everything, said my rib was popped and whole alignment was off. I woke up 2 days later feeling 70 percent better. I kept going to him weekly..
End of October hits and I’m still feeling pretty good, and then one day I start to feel extremely nauseous.. like severely nauseous. The room was spinning, I was crawling to the bathroom.. couldn’t walk, and I vomited/dry heaved the entire night. The next morning in fear of what the baby was experiencing inside of me I went into the hospital (per doctors suggestion). I was given fluids and told I most likely had food poisoning. I felt better that day and also throughout the night.
The next day was my birthday, I tried to do a small dinner w close friends. At dinner all of the feelings came back and I had to leave immediately- ended up even sicker, uncontrollable vomiting for about 8 hours, room was just spinning and spinning- it was really scary. Went back to the hospital at 2am, spent the day there. Had an MRI to rule out brain issues, had a vertigo specialist come in, all kinds of tests ran all day.. nothing looked out of the ordinary but I was still incredibly I’ll. I was sent home that evening- i couldn’t walk without assistance that entire week. The room was constantly spinning.. thank god for the family and friends and my husband who took care of me .. I’ll never be able to thank them enough. I couldn’t drive for a month following.. not a fun way to end pregnancy but it’s all part of the journey - right?
The feeling of nausea subsided a week later but the spinning continues to this day (2 months later)- it’s much milder and I’ve been able to control it with a few different supplements. Ginger, high doses of magnesium, turmeric and ginkgo biloba have made it so I can drive safely and go about life pretty normal, but bright sunlight seems to activate the mild dizzy feeling still. I’m hoping in time it will continue to feel better. My guess is vestibular neuritis is what I have.. but that’s a whole other post :) thank you to the women on Instagram that reached out with advice and similar stories- it’s helped me get through it. 💖
Back to pregnancy.. I made it to 41 + 1 and my doctor was leaving town for 5 days. I knew induction was coming the second he was back if this baby didn’t come and I trusted my doc so much and really wanted him or his midwife to deliver. I did some labor inducing tricks and behold, my water broke that evening.
I headed to the hospital assuming I was far along bc the contractions were so intense already.. only to be told I was dilated to 1 🫠. I was so sad bc the pain was more then I ever thought possible so early in. I had plans for no intervention, no drugs.. as you know, it’s something that you can never control and I also had an open mind with that.
A few hours in my lower back was in an insane amount of pain, it felt like there was acid being poured into my pelvic bone every 2 minutes 😅. I soon learned I was in back labor.. it’s like nothing I have ever experienced. I asked for an epidural , they convinced me to try fentanyl.. I did. It really didn’t help much unfortunately. I’m someone who won’t even take an Advil for a headache.. I’ve been plant based and health obsessed for over 20 years.. and I’m terrified of all drugs but at that point I had to surrender and accept that I needed support.. surrender is a word I continued to repeat throughout labor.
I was given pitocin for induction a few more hours in, it made the pain go from a 10 to a 12. Ryan had to hold my whole body and hips every 2 minutes that whole next 6-8 hours because the pain was like nothing I’ve ever felt.. I had the most INCREDIBLE nurses, one hugged me while I cried on the toilet, one rubbed my back for hours, they held my hands and rubbed my head. I’ll never forget them and the comfort they brought me (and my husband who continued to support me in so many ways).
About 15 hours in I was given the epidural. I cried bc I was so sad that I had gotten to that point but I also felt so incredibly thankful to have that option. Modern medicine saved me in so many ways throughout this entire experience.. I will never take that for granted. I also have so much respect for all birth plans and experiences. I wish mine went to plan but I’m thankful I had options in my situation.
Fast forward to another 10 or something hours in, I was checked hourly this whole time. I was 100 percent effaced, but only making it to a 7/8 dilated and the doctor said my cervix was still only half open, he couldn’t tell why (AMAZING DOCTOR- Dr Cap is locally famous for a reason, him and his staff are the most amazing humans. More on that later). Because my water broke 30 hours prior, it was starting to get dangerous for the baby in there. At one point at 2am in the morning about 8 nurses rushed into the room whispering with a look of panic- and told me the babies heart rate was dropping very low with every contraction. It was so scary and I knew the end was coming , as it was no longer safe to keep waiting it out. My doc texted me that he was on his way.
The room filled with nurses and also Dr Cap, he told me it was one hundred percent my choice how to move forward- he made me feel so loved and supported.. I was hysterical but his kind and calm energy made me feel very safe. I decided to go ahead with the c section because it wasn’t worth the risk of something happening to the baby if I continued labor any longer. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if something happened to him. I NEVER even considered a c section possible for my birth plan. I should have. I didn’t research the healing plan after, I didn’t know what to expect..
Honestly, it was over before I even knew it was happening. All I felt was intense pressure.. but when they held up Kieran (our baby boy), nothing else mattered at that point. He was alive, he was healthy, I was alive.. it was all going to be okay. I learned that he was sunny side up, meaning facing the wrong direction (hence the back labor). His head was tilted in my cervix and the reason that I wasn’t dilated enough to push after 30 hours of labor. I don’t think he would have even made it out if we didn’t decide on the c section, but I’ll never really know that for sure.
The healing is still going, I am taking it easy, slowly doing more walking.. this is definitely the slowest season of my life. Sleep is minimal and my days are not my own. There have been many many tears both good and sad. Postpartum and breastfeeding is a whole other post too.. I wasn’t fully prepared for all of it but I don’t think you ever can be. We don’t have much family here and my husband is a first responder so it’s been tough, but also it’s such a beautiful time in our life and I couldn’t be more thankful for all of it. Truly. It’s the raw part of life that keeps us alive in my opinion :) this little boy is such a blessing and I still can’t believe he is ours 💜 thank you for reading this if you made it this far. I’ve been really bad at keeping up with social media etc (I’m honestly always so bad at it … I’m sorry and thank you for continued support) but I do see the messages and it makes me feel so loved. I love this community and it’s been really healing to have so many reach out and check in. So thank you friends 🙏